Not All Superheroes Are Intimidating

Pen, parchment and an idea. Finally free to stir the vast macrocosm of our unrivaled creativity as modern apes, after another horrific ground-hog day listening to HR motivate you with robotic one-liners and adorn your cubicle with fluffy little mascots.

At last — at last you can become the anything and everything your day-to-day lacks. You can transcend your humanity and personify your wildest dreams. You can envision a hero, and bring him to life and share him with the world. Complete with redundant overarching political overtones that are never as subtle as you think they are. Then all you have to do is passively watch your creature, as it ages like milk.

The problem is, for the rest of us, sometimes people who like yogurt validify certain artistic monstrosities without our consent. I have done my best to compile a subjective list of real, popular “superheroes” that have somehow achieved a modicum of notoriety. Although admittedly, for all the wrong reasons.

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